One of the greatest things that comes from anxiety is overthinking. Overthinking about work, overthinking about your friendships, overthinking what your family think, overthinking and analysing every single thing that comes into your life.
However, there are some assumptions that people think when it comes to overthinking. Some people like to “downplay” the severity of it as they just don’t see the bigger picture. But what if I told you that it consumes my life on a daily basis?
I can’t remember the last time I didn’t overthink. It’s a constant battle with my brain and well my heart.
Overthinking isn’t just thinking a lot. It’s thinking in a loop that feels productive but actually keeps you stuck.
Think of it as your brain’s threat-detection system getting jammed on. It tries to solve an emotional problem the way it would solve a maths problem, by running it over and over until there’s a perfect answer. But feelings don’t have perfect answers, so the loop never closes.
The never ending battle with the brain becomes exhausting. You just want your brain to be quite, let me have a break.
In work the other day I saw my boss come into work and I said hello to him. He said “hello Cath” and then walked off. In that moment my overthinking was off and it was quick. Within 5 minutes of him leaving I had convinced myself he was going to sack me, that he hated me as a employee, that I wasn’t working hard enough and that I simply wasn’t good enough for any promotion. In the moment I was thinking all of these scenarios, I didn’t realise I was staring into the abyss completely zoned out and that I had a full screen of orders waiting to be made up.
You find that with over-thinkers that they try really hard, sometimes too hard to engage in conversations as its clarity that everything is ok. So you don’t think I’m too annoying to have a proper conversation with. You don’t think I’m incompetent to have a full adult conversation with, it’s reassuring for a moment. Until it’s the end of the working day when you find yourself analysing every single detail of that conversation, wishing that you could have said something different hours previous. Did I sound friendly enough, did I sound too friendly? Did they understand every word I said? Did I stutter? Did they feel pressured to have a conversation with me? Do they feel sorry for me? Do you think for a moment that the thought that they just wanted to have a decent conversation with me comes to mind? It doesn’t. It never does.
Slowly but surely you start to accept your “flaws” as strengths. Little by little and day by day you start to feel the weight not become lighter but more manageable. It’s a working progress. Start reminding yourself of all the amazing qualities you have, if you can’t think of any I promise you there are some fantastic qualities about you! You just haven’t found them yet. We all think that we can manage by ourselves to pick up the pieces but it only takes one person to help the load. One person to help change that mindset and turn negatives into positives. You might not of found your person to help you yet but you will. I promise you.
